Young Love
by FlameFiend
Summary: FlameFiend brings to you a collection of short chapters involving bashing of all sorts, including shipping bashing! Yay bashing! Flames wanted. Contest, Poke, and other ships to come soon
1. Contestshipping

A/N: This story shall involve Pokéshipping and Contestshipping, and a few others. Don't think for a second they're Advance or Waterflowershipping, but I can guarantee they'll be a surprise...with that, enjoy the story. Though something tells me that you won't...

On with the story!

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Young Love

May is sitting outside the contest hall in Mahogany Town. She had just suffered another loss, this time from Harley. She heard footsteps approaching her, but she didn't need to look up to know who it was.

"You lost, again? With only five ribbons you won't be able to enter the Grand Festival, you know that right?" May's gaze returned to the ground. This was a topic she really didn't want to think about at the time.

"Yeah, I lost...and I already knew that..." May let out a depressed sigh, believing that she wouldn't be able to enter Johto's Grand Festival.

"I wonder why Johto has a higher requirement than the other two regions. In both Kanto and Hoenn it was only five, but here it's six." Drew sat down next to May, but she didn't pay any attention to him.

"Did you ever consider the fact that Johto has a contest hall in every city, May? It only makes sense, really. With ten cities, that is a lot of ribbons. So having six as the requirement proves you beat over half of them."

"Yeah, but Kanto only has six contest halls-"

"No, Kanto has eight. You just didn't go to all the cities that had them." Drew chuckled at May's mistake.

"Just leave me alone, okay? It's bad enough that I can't go in the Grand Festival because I didn't get enough ribbons. By making fun of me you aren't making it any better. So just go away!" Though he was slightly surprised by her outburst, Drew shook his head.

"Don't count on it. Besides, I have something else to tell you." May let out a groan, obviously annoyed.

"If it's another insult, keep it to yourself. Just look at me, Drew! Can't you see I'm miserable enough?" May turned to look at him, and Drew instantly felt a wave of guilt rush through his body. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, and her cheeks were stained with tears. After the initial shock of her current state, Drew was able to say something, but he had to avert his gaze from hers first.

"No, I wanted to tell you I got you something."

"Drew, really, I know you like me, but those roses are getting old. You've been giving them to me since Hoenn!" Drew chuckled again, but he blushed when she mentioned his interest in her, as that was something he'd rather discuss in private.

"No, it's not a rose. It's something that I think will cheer you up. But since you obviously don't want it..." Drew stood up, and took a few steps forward before he felt May grab his arm. He turned to look at her, and saw she was now standing next to him, the curiosity shining in her eyes.

"What do you mean? I just thought it was a rose because you give them to me every time we meet up. How was I supposed to know it was something else? Please tell me what-" May was cut off by Drew pressing his lips against hers. While she was too shocked to react, Drew put a small box into her open hand. As soon as she got a grip on it, he cut off the kiss.

"Did...you...just...what?" May still hadn't recovered from the shock.

"I had to do something to shut you up. And it made a perfect opportunity to give you that as a bonus. With that I think you'll change your thoughts from before, too." Drew gave her a smirk before walking off.

"Wait, what do you mean 'my thoughts from before'? Come back!" Drew didn't listen, though, and continued on his way.

"I wonder what's in this little box...only one way to find out, I guess." May pulled off the top half, and the air in her lungs escaped. Tears began to form in her eyes, but this time, they were tears of happiness. Because the object that Drew had given her was...

"It's the Olivine ribbon. I...I can't believe he did this for me..." May held the ribbon close to her heart, as it now held a high amount of sentimental value to her.

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And now it's time for the intermission!

I planned on making it as flame-worthy as possible, but I think I failed...damn. Maybe I should have had everything in bold and all the dialogue together, or better yet, copy the plot of another story! **Yes, I'm referring to all you douche-bags that actually write stories like that. **

Maybe I should make the Pokéshipping section like that...heh. I hate both Ash and Misty, so don't be surprised if their chapter is identical to all those other shit AAML fics.

Also, this was extremely short, but at least the Author note wasn't more than half the damn story...oohh, I should use that too. Yeah, that's how much I despise Ash and Misty; especially together...there are just too many damned Pokéshipping fics...

As it seems, I need some ideas on other ships that you'd like to see bashed. This DAML was supposed to be much worse than it turned out, but it's still pretty bad. Any way, just pop up any ship that doesn't involve any characters that have already been used and I'll see what I can do! I hope to piss off as many people as possible with this, but we'll see, now won't we? Though I think some people might actually like this first chapter. But I swear, if I get any reviews that look like this;

"Liek, ur stori iz so kewl! U shuld tottallly make a sekwel!!1!1! (insert ship here) 4 EVAR!!!1!11!!!"

I will re-write that entire section to make it even worse than it already is. I'm trying to piss people off, not get praised. So give me flames, damn you! I bet you've never heard someone requesting flames, heh.

FlameFiend has logged out.


	2. Pokeshipping

A/N: Did you enjoy that last chapter? Good, because I typed it up in less than thirty minutes, and used little to no effort. Yet there are some authors who do their best and can't come near what I did. But I do hope that one day; I can be as bad as them. I'm such an ass.

And due to the fact that I despise Ash, Misty, and the mere thought of them as a couple, I hope to make this chapter thrice as worse as the last. Credit goes to Bittersweet Romanticide for some things that I would have otherwise omitted. Damn you Microsoft Word...which is why I've made a move to WordPad! heh.

Right, onto the Pokéshipping bashing! Well actually, the entire chapter's shit, but the Pokéshipping should be the worst. HEH.

But be prepared; this thing is so terrible it made me sick. I went back and edited it to ADD mistakes. I don't think there's a single period in here after this author note, lol.

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So ash was sitting outside the sinnoh LEague champon chip building by himself he had just beat the first guy in the first match and was waiting for the next round so he could beat the next guy who was paul then dawn came over to him to let him know she was rooting for him And off corse daen was wering her cheerleading out fit

dawn: hey ash dont wory were all roting for you

ash: yah i no but thanks anyway daw

dawn: no problem ash

ash: hey dawn do you kno were brok is

dawn: umm I think hes flitrig with a girl somwere ovr ther

ash looked over to were dawn was pointing and yup you guessed it ther was broc flirting with another prettty girl but before he could scar the ppor girl any more crogunk his poKEmon came out of nowere in a BRIGHT flash of lite and hit brok in the belly with sum move that i forgot the name of but it hurt him reel bad and caused brok to fall over in pane while brock was hurt crogunk grabbed his foots and dragged the poKEmon breeder offf to somewhere (I dont know where so stop asking me!!1!!!11!)

ash: thats brok for you

dawn: yup he never changes hey ash wens yur next battel

ash: um i dont no

dawn rolld her eyes and lewked up at the really big elektronik display that was at lest twice as big as ash and dawn togehtr(no, this isnt perlshipping thatz gross!!11!!!1) wen dawn saw teh timez for the matches she told ash

dawn: ash you next battle doesnt happen untill tommorrow so why dont we get some sleep

ash: thats cool cause now i dont have to worry about staying up late ill see you in the morning kay dawn

dawn: okay ash see you in the morning then

so then ash and dawn went to ther own rooms because if they shared a room then that would be really nasty and groos and stuff but anywayz ash was in his room lying on his bed caus beds ar where you sleep

ash: hey pikachu ar you stilll awak buddie

pikachu: yea im awake wat do you want

ash: i was just wonderin thats all

pikachu: well if thats all then im going to sleep

ash: no wait i need to ask you sumthing

pikachu: what is it im tired

ash: i no ur tired but wen do you think well see misty again

pikachu: its been a long tim scince we seen misty hey wen ar you gonna tell her u liek her

ash: what are you talkin about pikachu mistys my best freind

pikachu: yea but u want it too be moore than that

ash: okay fine you got me but how did you find out

pikachu: duh ash pokEmon can read ther trainers thots evin if they arnt sykick

ash: reaaly i never new that bfor

pikachu: no im just kiddimg but a trainers pokEMon no what ther trainer iz feeling so thats how i no but i dont no about any off the othr pokEmon cuz they havnt been wit u as long as me

ash oh okay thats cool i gess

pikachu: so are yu gona tell misty next tine we see hr

ash: ah i thot youd for get about that

pikachu: well im not stupd u no

ash: i wasnt sayin u were stupd but i jus thot yo wuld for get cuz we didnt talk about it for a wile

pikachu: oh ok then but relly wen r u gonna tel her

ash: i dont no but i hop tht she fells the same

pikachu: wel if yo rmembr form the last timr in joto tht u saw her then u wuld no, but i gess tha yo wernt payin atenshun

ash: wat do u men pikachu

pikachu: u will find out soon good nite ash

ash: okay watever u say good nite pikachu

so after ther relly relly long conversashin ash and pikachu finaly went too slep

the next morning

ovr in cerulen gim misty just got don beetin som trainer who tried to beat her but lost

misty: now that that's ovr with i can go get redy to see ash

daisy: oh ur boyfreind

misty: wat ar u takin about daisy ash is my best frend adn im going to see him thats all okay

daisy: well you are freakin out about it and hes all the way in the SInnoh region wich is relly relly far so i jest gessed he was ur boyfrend

misty: weel ur wrong so there im leaving now okay bye

daisy: wait how ar yo goin to get there

misty: on garuhdos duh

daisy: but garuhdos is a water pokEmon and that wuld take a relly long time

misty: but garados is also part flyin type so he can fly

daisy: oh i didnnt no that

misty: well now u do byebye

daisy: bye misty and be sur to say hi to ur boyfrend for me

misty: just shut up already

and wiht that misty took off on garadoses back

ash had just got beten by paul becuz paul is a big jerk ho i dont like and i think he shuld die for being so mean to everyone evin pokEmon but anywayz ash was now on a bench with his head facing the cemnet wich was the sidwak oh and i forgot to menshun brok and dawn ar ther tryin to cher him up but cant becuz hes to sad tht he lost

dawn: come on ash u did ur best u shuld be happy u made it thsi far

brok: yea dawns rite u did ur best so thats wat maters

ash: im hapy u guys ar tryin to cher me up but i thimk i juust ned a bit if timr to myslf

so thne ash got up and waked away form dwn and brokc intoo the city( i forgot its name so dont ask about that) but as i ws sayin ash was in the cite and was walkin aroun and was loking in the diffferent shopps cuz he had nuthing bettr to do now tha he was ot of the SInnoh league just ten he herd a bunh of ppl screming an runnin awy frm sumthin but he didnt care becuz of hw depressd he was but becuz he wonderd wat all the pepel wer runnin for he loked up and saw...MISTY!1!!!1!!

ash: misty is tht relly u and y are u on a flyin garuhdos i thot tey were water typs

misty: yes ash its relly me and garuhdos ar part flyin typ duh

ash: i dont car abot te garuhdos im just so happy to se yu

misty: i no wat u men i jest had to com an see u i missd u to much

ash: i wuz gonna se u wen i got back 2 kano but i dont think i will have 2 now

misty: yeh but u culd still comm se mee anyway

ash: yea ur rigt i guess hey misty i have somthin to tell u

misty: wat is it ash im listning

ash: i luv u i alwayz hav but i nvr new it untl jest last nite

misty: oh ash i luv u so much u have no clu how long ive luved u

but before misty culd finish ash grabed her and gave her a dep and luving kiss wich misty of corse liekd a hole lot

many yers latr

priest: ash ketchm, do u tak misty to be ur bride

ash: i do

priest: and misty watr flowr, do u take ash to b ur husband

misty: i do

priest: tehn wiht te power investd in me, I annonce u husband and wife. the groom may kisss te bride

ash ten gave misty a dep and passshunit kiss jest liek ther fisrt on

ash: I luv u misty

misty: I luv u to ash

TE END

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I do think that I've accomplished my mission of making a terrible chapter, heh. But it was a little long for my liking (5 pages on Microsoft Word), that doesn't make up for how bad it is. Truth be told, this took very little time to write; just going back and fucking everything up took a lot of time. XD

But I think I could make it even worse by having all the dialogue clumped together in paragraphs...WITHOUT QUOTATIONS. Now that'd be fun to try and guess whose talking, heh.

It also appears that Pikachu can talk just like everybody else; I did this because damn near everyone else does. Sure, some people put the Pokémon text in bold or italics, or put a special symbol with the quotations ("translated Pokémon speech"), but others don't do that, giving the impression that humans and Pokémon speak the same language, which they don't, as you should know by now.

I thank Bittersweet Romanticide once more, because she brought to my attention several quite a few things that were present in this chapter, and will be making recurring appearances in future ones. I can't believe I was stupid enough to not include all the basics...some one slap me... –Gets slapped- Ouch. But I do think I did a pretty good job of implementing most, if not all, of those ideals. AND YES I AM TRYING TO BRAG, DEAL WITH IT.

And remember, all review replies (among other information) go in the resource chapter, which would be the last one.

Oh yeah, an important matter; **FlameFiend needs your help. **I need a wee bit of help in future ships to mutilate. I'm not too keen on the anime, as I stopped watching it as soon as I saw the first bit of Contestshipping. I nearly gagged when I saw that...but anyways. The resource chapter has more information in it, so go there for the other stuff. That's all I've got...

_**FlameFiend has logged out.**_


	3. Resource

Holy shit, I actually got reviews! I didn't think people would actually review it, heh. Right, I'm going to reply to the reviews at the beginning, just to counter everyone else who does it after the chapter.

Be warned, though; this list is going to get pretty damn long. Oh, and here's a little bit of info;

**Bold **names are signed reviews;

_Italic_ names are anonymous;

Underlined names are PMs.

And the date is pretty much self-explained; if that needs to be explained, then you have problems and shouldn't even be allowed access to the internet.

And really, these replies are only for those who care to read them; but if you actually read through them all, even if you don't submit a single review...CONGRATUALATIONS, NO ONE CARES. heh.

* * *

**12/11/07**

**soaringdragon43: **You obviously didn't read the last part of my chapter correctly; you've just inspired me to make the Pokéshipping chapter worse. But I must agree with you; all these Advanceshipping stories are getting a bit annoying. But then again, I could say the same about all the Pokéshipping ones; every story that isn't AAMayL is either DAML or AAML. So it's not just the Advanceshippers that have no creativity.

That helps quite a bit. I haven't seen any fics that have the entire dialogue end like that, but I'll make sure that at least one chapter in this story does. I agree with you once more; all these romance fics are making me sick. And mainly it's because the characters confess their love like _this_;

"I have something important to tell you, (character 2)", said (character 1)

"What is it, (character 1)?" (Character 2) asked.

"I...I love you" (Character 1) said.

"I love you too!" (Character 2) said, hugging character 1 tightly. The two then shared a deep and passionate kiss.

DEAR LORD, KILL ME NOW. Seriously, over half of the confessions are damn near identical to that. And every time I see that type of confession, I run to the bathroom and empty my stomach of its contents...

**the shadow of hell: **Sarcastic little bastard, ain'tcha? Nice magnetism relation though, gotta give you that. But seriously, you could have put a little more effort into that cheap flame...-sigh- But I will try to make future chapters as terrible as some make them.

And that is all for the reviews. One was from a person who's apparently a Pokéshipper and doesn't want their ship bashed, which is going to happen anyway. And the other came from some dude who I have a feeling is going to "flame" this story again. JOY.

Right, the next chapter will be out whenever I post it. Seeing as Pokéshipping is my most hated ship next to Contestshipping, it WILL be next. I think I should edit that CS chapter; then again, it does make for a deceitful beginning for anyone who reads this. Heh, I think I'll leave it.

**Bittersweet Romanticide: **I...I don't know if I can do it THAT bad...but I will try. I can do the webchat, no prob. But I'm going to have problems with the typos and other grammar things; Microsoft Office Word catches EVERYTHING. But I could always make a move to Notepad, heh. Even then, I'd have to edit it to MAKE the typos, lol. But I'll do my best at making it horrible...and that's for the "flame". I swear, most of these flames are dripping with sarcasm. And I almost checked your profile for that story too, heh.

_Flame like you wanted: _Joy. Yet ANOTHER sarcastic one. Maybe I shouldn't have announced that this'd be a parody...

**Flameboo: **This is seriously the funniest thing I've ever read. I knew I'd be getting hell, but I didn't think it'd be like THIS. I mean, dude...could you get anymore sarcastic? Gave me a good laugh, even one can practically see the sarcasm dripping off of the words.

Well that's interesting. It's seven o' clock right now, and I just had dinner...O.O I don't want to know if that's coincidence or not...

* * *

**12/12/07**

Lunarshade29: All day yesterday FFN was down for some reason. Or maybe it was just the morning, I gave up trying to submit the Pokeshipping chapter after about an hour. A long hour, filled with cussing at my computer and FFN. Right moving on...

And that first chapter wasn't as bad as they come, but I've decided to use it as a tool of deception. And you want to see bashing? Read the Pokeshipping chapter. HEH.

I'll give your story a flame whenever I fucking feel like it, YA HEAR ME?! lol I have too much time...which is why I should have flamed your stories already, but due to how lazy I am, I haven't. I'll do so sometime today.

And concerning that flame...YOU FAIL. You aren't supposed to say shit about yourself, only the lame excuse for an author who wrote the story. But not bad for a first flame, I guess...and I hate barney. Fucking pedophile.

Ash can't be used in future submissions because he's already been used. And I know that he's in more ships than the pixels on my screen. But that's part of the challenge, heh. And May's ship-count is damn close to his. But I think it's because the people who make these damned things just pair up the characters randomly. -sigh- dumbasses.

**the shadow of hell: **Great. Something tells me that I'm going to be hearing from you again before this story's over...LOVELY. And if you wish to talk about something, I'd prefer it if you PM or e-mailed me; I don't need a shit-load of reviews that are nothing but conversation.

* * *

**12/13/07**

**Lolita of The Damned: **I guess this means I achieved my goal. Now, to make it even **worse** than other Pokeshipping fics! -maniacle laughter-

And yes, I know the ContestShipping chapter was acceptable. But it's only in that state because 1) I'm too lazy to go back and change it, and 2) it makes for an excellent deceptive beginning, fooling everyone who reads that chapter and thinks the next will be the same. Oh, how wrong they are...HEH.

Drew isn't a gullible person, even though damn near every author on FFN makes him one. Though I was initially going to have him cut straight to the kiss, I decided to include that piece to make the chapter more like other CS fics out there. But I really didn't want to include it...

And Ikarishipping, you say? No problem, as I've been thinking about that one for a while. how in the world would Dawn and Paul ever love each other? They don't even LIKE eachother for cryin' out loud! Well, I'll work out something, don't worry. I might have to go read some Ikarishipping one-shots first though.

But seriously, I think there's only one way Dawn and Paul could be together; Dawn would piss off Paul so much that he'd tie her down and rape her. Well, she'd be WITH him, even if it's not how she wanted...HEH. That'd make for a pretty good AFF one-shot...

**Lunarshade29: **Flaming yourself isn't good, nor is admitting it...and I'm surprised that your sidekick Homicidal Manaphy didn't make an appearance...damn I love that thing.

It would make people cry, you say? lol that's interesting...

Well, considering that you do seem a bit wrapped up with Pokemorphs, I guess so. But then again, I'm not much different; I can go from reading a Dr. Suess book from my younger years to pulling out a cheap porn and critizising it while trying not to laugh my ass off at how cheap it is. Yup. That's F-F, for ya.

ANYWAYS, I'm getting off topic. I was going to mash everything together, but then i figured that it'd be too hard to read, thus no one would want to read it and I wouldn't get as many flames for bashing Pokeshipping. Hell, I havent even gotten any for the Contestshipping...maybe I should suggest it in a forum? heh.

**Bittersweet Romanticide: **Erm...I never said your comment had to do anything with ships in general. I simply said it helped a bit with turning the rest of the story to shit. And I don't recall ever saying anything about being biased either. Don't quite know where you got that from.

As far as the quality of shipping fics; I'm just basing that off of all the recent shit. Yet I'm quite sure that every ship has its good and bad fics. So now I can refer to you to the overall quality of shipping fics? lol jk Or am I?

This story is SUPPOSED to be bad. That's the main reason it's in the parody category. And that'll only become more blatant with the next addition, whenever the hell that'll be.

I don't know if this hasn't become clear to you yet, but the LAST thing I want is good reviews. I am making fun of all these damned shipping fics around here. I doubt I'll be getting very good feedback, except from all those damned smartasses. And the survival of this fic doesn't really matter; it's just something I'm doing in my spare time. It has little to no importance to me at all. So if it dies, it dies; I'm only doing this to piss people off.

Homosexual pairs, eh? Not a problem. Though it would help quite a bit if you specified which ship/pair...-.- As far as palletshipping...I guess I could work something out. Though I have no clue how long it'd take me to get something out; I'm not an expert on Gary's personality, so I don't know how i'd be able to mutilate it. Only time will tell...

**This is all...FOR NOW. **

**Edn**

* * *

**Da list o' people that can't be in future ships (hereafter referred to as 'Da list');**

**Ash**

**Drew**

**May**

**Misty**

**And more will be added as we go. Remember, only characters from the anime and games, not the manga. F-F doesn't read manga.**

So that means no Advanceshipping, sorry soaringdragon43. Actually no, I'm not sorry. But that does suck for you and anyone else who wanted to see Advanceshipping bashed. Believe it or not, I find that most Advanceshipping stories are better written than Contest or Pokéshipping stories. But I do despise the ones that are a cheap rip-off of others, which there are quite a few of. Hell, I might just include and Advanceshipping chapter at the end or something...

So any other ships involving those listed above aren't allowed. But I am willing to make an exception; if someone shows me a story that looks like a three-year-old wrote it, I might get convinced to bash the ship that's in it. But it all depends...

Remember, FlameFiend doesn't like to think, so give the lazy bastard ideas for ships to bash! I'm considering Ikarishipping, but I haven't seen very many fics for it; but I may just bash it because its name looks like Dawn's Japanese name, Hikari. Oh yeah, SO creative... [/ sarcasm

And that is all for now. Oh wait, were you expecting a chapter? HA! I said this was going to be as shit a story as possible, and including an author note as its own chapter had to be included. When I add the Pokéshipping chapter, this 'chapter' won't disappear into oblivion; it'll be bumped to chapter 3. It will always be the last chapter, as a resource for anyone to view. Only when this fic is completed (which is quite a distance) will this chapter be taken down. I'll edit it as we go, obviously; I'll add all the review-replies to here so they don't bog down the actual chapters.

'Da list' will also grow with new submissions, naturally. I wonder how big it'll get...only time will tell, I suppose. But there are several people in the anime/games, so I think it'll grow quite a bit. But its length is pretty dependent on the readers, as I only started this to bash the common ships. The only exception to this is Rocketshipping; despite the fact that Jessie and James are bumbling idiots, I think that ship is the only one that could really become canon. And there aren't too many Rocketshipping fics out there.

Okay, THAT is all, for the time at least. This chapter will be edited on a regular basis, so be sure to check back after the addition of a new chapter. Or not, its your choice...

FlameFiend has logged out.


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